Call Me Anna (A Sugar Baby’s Tale)

I’ve just returned from an 18 month stint playing my version of Anna Nicole Smith — in all the very best ways, I assure you!

Like Anna, I played companion to an ailing older gentlemen. Unlike Anna, I was up front about the money, that this was a sugar baby / sugar daddy relationship. Yes, I had affection for him; but I was not “in love,” nor did we have sex. I don’t think he was actually capable of that any longer… But he did teasingly try a few times anyway. *wink*

He called me “His Anna.” And I called him, “Daddy.” Right up until the day we parted. Which was just 36 hours ago. He gave me my last sugar baby cash gift and said he was ready to part — that he was going to hospice. And we both knew that my presence among family would be deemed inappropriate…

Though, in truth, none of his family bothered to spend time with him; not even via the phone. Had I not known otherwise from his stories and his friends, I would not have known he had family alive — let alone children. That is my only complaint really — complaints for him, not about him.

We strolled as long as he was able; then I wheeled him. We laughed — a lot. He told me stories — always afraid they would bore me. But I always found them entertaining — and, like any wise sugar baby, I learned from them.

Earlier today, a mutual friend told me “Daddy” had passed.

And I miss him, more than a bit… I expect I shall for quite some time.

I think he would like that.

But he would definitely not want me to be unhappy.

After all, my laughter was one of the things he adored most about me.

Often, with me on his knee (or, in the last few months, seated next to him), Daddy would tell his friends, “Now, I took one look at My Anna and fell for her pretty blonde hair, her perky breasts, and all the proper (or is that “improper”?!) jiggles.” He’d pause a moment for comedic affect before continuing. “But I adore Caitlin for her companionship and her giggles! So, boys, remember, a beautiful girl is great — but a fun girl is the best.”

caitlin-lingerie-stocking-girlWith his most intimate circle of friends, he would wax more poetically… He would clasp my hand, and hold it dear, saying, “Blondes should have more fun. They are the most coveted, so they ought to be the most appreciated, the most pampered.” He typically punctuated that last line with a kiss on my hand.

I can honestly attest to the fact that blondes are most sought after; and, when properly treated, we do have the most fun. (If you don’t believe me, these Sydney escorts can fill you in.)

And Daddy would say that’s all the proper economics of being blonde: The rare & sought after ought to be treated as more than just a conquest, but a gift one strives to keep.

So I never felt abused or used in anyway with Daddy. He always treated me with an affectionate yet respectful reverence.

Now that Daddy has gone, I shall likely return to the phones… Though I see somethings have changed… So I shall likely change my options / offerings… But I shall worry about that later.

For now, I shall just enjoy some quiet time with all of my critters — including the new Russian Blue that Daddy gave me.

And whenever I feel a bit too sad, I shall paint… And then do something to laugh. Because that’s the best way to honor Daddy.

“Goodbye, Daddy, from Your Anna.”

Swearing Off Younger Guys

This post is as much of a reminder to myself as it is a notice to you all: Caitlin no longer wishes to entertain real life relationships or even dalliances with younger men (those around my own age).

To Wit:

Younger men are silly, vapid, poor, and have nothing to teach me (save for how to break a heart) and are not worth my time.

Beer is no substitute for relaxing.

“Kick the dog” mentality is not to be tolerated as it leads to actual kicking of dogs and other beings.

“Passion” is not to be confused with anger.

“Laid back” typically means dull and uninteresting.

“Give and take” means you participate in both, not just the taking.

Yes, my heart was broken. But I am over it — and him — now and life will resume as I envision it.

So I Made A Profile

I felt a little silly starting this site — not about the fact that I love classic lingerie and stockings, or even sharing photos of myself wearing such things, but about how to start.

After creating the first gallery, that is.

Normally when I start a project, I have the concept I want to communicate or at least the ideas I want to explore and then I work straight through until I exhaust them (and myself). But a blog isn’t like that, is it? It’s more about the process over time than completing an end result. Just like a relationship, I think. But there’s another issue…

How to introduce myself.

What do you say about yourself? I managed an “about me” page, but friends said that wasn’t a real profile. So I asked them for help.

I asked them to describe me — but that mainly received laughs and comments such as, “You’re difficult to pin down!” Which rather shocked me as they always want me at their parties and gatherings, calling me the “the ultimate party guest.” But apparently what makes me an excellent “vivacious” party guest, the fact that I enjoy talking to anyone about anything, means I’m “capricious” and “whimsical” and too difficult to describe. The other side of the same coin, I guess.

So I made a deal with them: They could ask the profile questions and receive the answers they so desperately seek — if they then took some time to describe me as they see me. So we sat down at our favorite little cafe and I had to answer the questions on the spot. (Thanks to Kelly for typing this up on the laptop!)

Ready, Set, Go!

Fav Movies: Breakfast At Tiffany’s, A Streetcar Named Desire, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, The Apartment, Stranger Than Fiction, The Handmaid’s Tale, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo series (Swedish versions; I’m avoiding seeing the US version for fear they will ruin it), Exit Through the Gift Shop, The House Bunny, Gone With The Wind, and Anchorman.

Books: I am partial to biographies and history, but also enjoy science fiction-fantasy works, such as works by Tad Williams & Terry Brooks. I also adore e.e. cummings and Sylvia Plath. When stressed, I grab stacks of romance novels to read. I spend way too much money on magazines.

TV shows: My favorite channels are A&E, TCM, and The History Channel. Shows I regularly watch are Community (please let it come back soon!), 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation, Oddities, Once Upon A Time, Grimm, and Burn Notice.

Music: Classic crooners (Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra), The Blues (Buddy Guy, Muddy Waters, Watermelon Slim, Jonny Lang), Jazz (Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan, Miles Davis), Spike Jones & His City Slickers, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, lots of stuff from the 80s, and anything with a Spanish guitar.

Favorite flowers: Those alive on my patio garden or on my windowsills I love most of all. And gardenias.

Favorite color: Varies by occasion, object, mood — hey, I’m a visual artist!

Pets:

An Amazon parrot named Spot. (Hey, I got him when I was six!)

Three cats, domestic shorthairs, named Anni and Josef (Albers) and Mr. Gropius. (I love the people and philosophies which populated the Bauhaus even more than the works produced. …You might also want to know that I call their litterbox “The Bauhaus” and as all three like to watch me clean it, I critique their “works” as I shovel them into the bag. I do have a twisted sense of humor sometimes.)

A huge floppy bunny rabbit with even floppier ears named Pumpkin. He was abandoned in the apartment next to us and I couldn’t bear to leave the orange silly to his chances at a shelter.

A stray mutt I found and just couldn’t turn away. I named him Fred, after Holly Golightly’s brother in Breakfast At Tiffany’s. (Well, I couldn’t name him “Cat,” now could I? *giggle*)

There’s also, Pooter, a raccoon who visits me quite regularly at night. I don’t know if Pooter is a boy or a girl, but the name should work in any case! (PS I named him before I saw The House Bunny — great minds! lol)

I collect:

Vintage lingerie (even if it doesn’t fit me) and vintage rhinestone and costume jewelry.

Vintage and antique magazines and other ephemera for their illustration and design qualities.

I am drawn to quirky vintage pottery and kitschy retro animal figurines; it’s my guilty pleasure.

I have a modest collection of vintage pinup prints and photographs; I would be terribly thrilled to own originals!

I have a lot of books, but I’m not sure you’d call me a collector… Perhaps just a reader. I rarely part with hardcovers. I recycle books at the local used book store and swap paperbacks with friends.

Favorite place to eat: It’s a tie between breakfast at my little kitchenette counter (looking at my little potted plants in their vintage pots so colorful, vibrant and alive in the sun!) and desert in bed before I settle in with a book (a slice of cheesecake with fruit topping with a cup of hot cocoa in cool weather; chocolate milk and shortbread cookies when it’s warm).

What I value most about myself: My integrity, the ability to laugh at myself, and kindness. Maybe not in that order. Heck, none of this is in order! lol

What I value most about others: The same as above. Wouldn’t it be just terribly horrible if I didn’t?!

What motivates me: Inspiration is everywhere and I can’t bear to resist it and create, create, create! If I can’t be working on a project, the next best things are reading and passionate discussions.

The one thing I can’t live without: Sleep. But I too often deprive myself in pursuit of my passions, and suffer insomnia for it. (The routine of eating a little something and reading before bed helps with my irregular schedule.)

Dislikes: Meanness. Also, I don’t want to talk about my family situation and work — my work — here. This is supposed to be my romantic playground!

I don’t smoke.

I don’t do drugs.

I drink more or less socially, enjoying frozen ice cream drinks, fruity girlie drinks with umbrellas, and the occasional sweet light wine.

~~~~~

This proved more difficult than I thought… They wanted simple “single answers.” Why would I anyone have just one pat answer for anything? But a deal is a deal and so here is how my friends describe me:

A loyal friend.

Determined and purposeful, but open-minded enough to change her mind and utterly caring of others.

An eclectic old soul.

A hopeless romantic. (Have the hanky ready, boys!)

Sweet, but with a silly and often twisted sense of humor.

A down-right proper tease.

I sure hopes this helps you. At least keeps you interested in coming back to see how this all unfolds…